I've been wanting to start a blog and put my story out there.
Problem is, I don't necessarily want people to know who i am, esp when they learn all my gory details. (maybe by 'people', i mean my family. . . ?) I want it to be totally anonymous so i can write about any and everything. But funny thing is, i have this fear that no one will ever read it. And while i don't want my mother to read it, i still want her to. For like an approval thing. At 36. How sad. . .
So then i had to think of a name. Would it be the street i grew up on (Saxony) Would it be my first pets name (Sweet Pea), or - you guessed it - my 'p*rn star name' (Saxony Sweet Pea). See, already i don't want my mother reading this. ;-) (it was a joke, with a long story - later!) I figured everything witty was taken. Plus, I'm not very creative. so, my blog has been lingering in my mind for several months now. Then it happened.
I had a dream. . .
ok, not that big. . . but really.
I was dreaming this morning on my one morning to get to sleep in. I was in the middle of quite a symbolic dream when my boss called and told me HR approved the raise i requested (small, inside little dance). When i hung up, i started thinking about this dream and i thought, "if i had a blog i would post this and get it out of my system, 'cause mark my words. . . " "Hey, that would be a good blog name. Someone's prob got that. I could check." Well, by the time i made it to my computer i was already thinking about my life and, oh my word, so i checked and here i am with an even more emphatic variation.
So , here's my dream. . .
A bunch of people, including my mother, were at the hospital where i work. It was a break time so we got in my car (my old Cutlass Supreme - loved that car!) and went down to the creek that adjoins the property. It was myself, my mother and two people she knew. We were all on the front row and i was in the middle - next to the end on the right. In other words, i wasn't driving my own car. In the front it was these 2 people, then me and then my mother.
We were watching the creek and talking and one of them asked if they could smoke and my mother told them it was okay! She doesn't even smoke, and it wasn't her car, and she said ok - but very sheepishly, almost like my ds was there - but he wasn't. (i added that part, cause don't people bore you with the details of their dream? but it's my dream, my blog, so there you go.) BTW, the creek did this sudden rise because it had been raining quite a bit on the other side of the hospital. Like that was enough for a rush of water. . .
Anyway, then this creep of a guy that works EVS (for real, and he is creepy) came up and my mother was encouraging him and i was trying to get her to let him go, leave him alone so he would leave and she totally blew me off and kept talking to him. I tried to explain that he creeps me out, but she ignored it.
Then we had to go back to the hospital and were driving over (again not me - i think it was her) and she started talking about going to Wisconsin to see this man she,s been talking to, and i asked what car she was taking, because she never drives her own (she's working that system good) She said she was planning on taking mine and i said i don't think so. She said she would ask grandaddy (he bought it) and i reminded her that he gave me the full title and it was my car and she wasn't taking it under any circumstances. Then we looked up (we were driving all this time) and we come to a wide drive/entrance to a parking lot and there's someone standing in the middle directing traffic. It was grandmother, in her present condition (86, and a bit stooped and wobbly). She was wearing her little denim pants set with the red medallion shirt and doing all the hand signal for the traffic (now if that's not symbolic, i don't know what is!)
About that time my boss called and woke me up. Aren't you glad?
There was more about the interaction with the creepy guy, but i can't remember now. Again, aren't you glad?
Any comments, however long after the post, would be much appreciated. Dream analysis fascinates me. I know we've already got my mom backseat driving (from the passengers side, and later blatantly driving), and totally disregarding my values (the smoking, the creep). We've got my grandmother directing things, even though she's frail. (and how odd that she was in her pants set, she always wears a dress. ohh, maybe she had the more masculine pants because grandaddy's gone and now she's directing things. . . )
See, i really love it. Write me so i know someone is reading this.
7 hours ago